How You Can Actually Help Cancer Patients (and people alike)

By Kayla Harper

So, you want to make a difference? You’re at your local grocery store and asked to donate to Pink Ribbon or a similar organization dedicated to funding cancer research and providing treatment to cancer patients. You say yes, give them your money and leave. As you’re driving home, you feel really good about yourself -like you did something good and helped someone who’s suffering…spoiler alert: you didn’t.

Most people will never do thorough research into these organizations until someone close to them is given an expiration date and they’re pulling every string they can to extend or eliminate that date. However, upon deeper analysis one will find that Pink Ribbon and many organizations alike do not support cancer patients in the way we are made to think.  In fact, cancer patients who need it the most will probably never see a single Pink Ribbon donation.

It is unfortunate that our healthcare system discriminates between the stage of cancer a patient has and the value of their life. Of course as the stage increases, the likelihood of survival decreases, however, it is not impossible -with more financial support and medical attention stage four patients would have a higher survival rate and it would not be as fatal a diagnosis.  Canada’s “free” healthcare system is all great when it’s a simple check-up, but as soon as it’s life and death, they’d rather let you suffer and as a result make more money.  The healthcare system isn’t profiting if it’s priciest patients are getting better…but cancer treatments should not cause more cancer; we need to do better.

I’ll be using a personal story to provide evidence and explain the importance of what I’m saying in this article, but I don’t want this to be mistaken for a single case basis -this has happened to many people I have known and more, and it continues to happen today.

My Aunt, Cera Jade Harper, was diagnosed with metastatic adenocarcinoma (stage four breast cancer) when she was only 34 years old and an otherwise healthy individual, she never drank or smoked, was primarily vegetarian most of her life, etc. but that doesn’t matter, cancer is cancer and everyone’s life is valuable.  Being so young and having the soul of a fighter, I never thought we’d lose her to this brutal illness; there was just no way in my mind she wouldn’t get better.  I was naive to have so much faith that the healthcare system would also see such a young individual and do everything they could to ensure she would live as many fulfilling years as she could.

At 34 years old, most people still have over half of their life left to live, Aunty Cera was given less than a year and told she wouldn’t make it to 35 (her birthday was six months down the road at this point).  Before I go any further I would like to say I am very grateful and fortunate that she was lucky enough to exceed this expectation and live another two years in which she would make the most of them that she could.  However, that doesn’t change the fact that she, and many other cancer patients, could have lived longer and there’s many out there right now who are facing the same fate, but there is something we can do about it and that’s what I’ll get into as you continue to read this article.

Before proceeding I would like express my gratitude to the doctors and nurses who did help her and clarify that this article is not directed towards them, it’s directed towards the system as a whole, the organizations and the people who run them.

From early on after her diagnosis it was clear the healthcare system and organizations such as Pink Ribbon had no desire to truly help Aunty Cera or see her get better, just make her comfortable and incur a huge profit in the process. To put it bluntly, they told her she was a “write-off”, there wasn’t much hope and therefore she was not worth saving.  Just typing those words makes my blood boil, to imagine that this wasn’t just said to her, but has been said and is being said right now to thousands of patients.  Put yourself in their shoes, you’re trying to digest such a serious and fatal diagnosis, my aunt describes it as “mourning your own life.” Now, imagine the little hope you have being crushed by the people meant to save you? Yep, that’s our system.

When it comes to cancer charities and organizations like Pink Ribbon, patients have to apply to request financial assistance and wait approval.  Stage four patients are almost never approved. Similar to the healthcare system, they don’t think they’re worth saving.  When did it become another person’s decision to decide the worth of somebody’s life?  because they went to school for so many years and have degrees and certificates? One may harshly argue that it makes more sense that funds go towards the patients who are less severe and more likely to survive, however, they’ve misjudged that stage four patients would have just as much of a chance if given adequate treatment in which financial assistance is needed.

I can only really speak on the healthcare systems that I have researched and which we were directly involved with, which is the Canadian and American ones, perhaps other countries are better or worse, I don’t know from experience.  However, I do know for certain that there are now treatments for stage four cancer with extremely high success rates used in other countries such as Mexico.  Unfortunately, these treatments are not yet available in Canada or the United States and who knows if they ever will be. A hospital in Mexico which offered this treatment had cured stage four patients who were much worse at the time than Aunty Cera, and who were also deemed a “write-off” by the Canadian and American healthcare systems, so, when they would take my aunt in, we had a lot of hope.

Fuelled by newly ignited hope, we were faced with another problem, however, this one seemed much more attainable than having the healthcare system pay us any attention.  If we could get Aunty Cera to Mexico, there was the highest chance since her diagnosis that she would overcome this fatal illness and ring the bell, cancer free…or at least get many more years.  The challenge that faced us now was coming up with the finances to get her to Mexico and get her the treatment.

Of course, Aunty Cera applied to every organization she could, none of them approved her for financial support, still deeming her a “write-off”, some of them sent her a nice little care package…although not meant to be ill-intended, it’s almost a form of mockery…no we will not provide you with any taxpayers donations to fund your treatment, but here’s a new water bottle and notepad. We realized we could not rely on the system or any of these organizations for help, we would have to take things into our own hands. I’m proud of my family and friends, Canadian and American, for everything we did to make it happen.  There were charity events, fundraisers, personal donation links shared, etc.  All the money from Aunty Cera’s salon that wasn’t going to the salon was going towards keeping her alive.

We didn’t just ask for money either, we wanted to give back as much as we could to show our appreciation to the people that helped.  So, we arranged silent auctions, fun events such as paint nights, bake sales etc.  Aunty Cera also many ways to donate and help listed on her website, SailboatBarbie.com, in which people could donate directly to her through different methods some of which were tax free and could be written off, so people could even get back the money they donated. It became our mission to reshare these links and sell tickets to these events to raise as much money as we could.

I understand that not everyone can donate, sometimes it’s simply impossible when you’re living paycheque to paycheque, but it doesn’t take anything to reshare a link so that someone who can donate will see it.  People mistake themselves as insignificant in these scenarios, as a single drop in the ocean, they don’t realize the ripples they can make.  You might think by resharing a link no one will see it who can help so why bother? Though that may be the case, it doesn’t hurt to share it anyway, in fact someone might see it who can’t donate, but then they’ll share it to someone who can, etc. It keeps going, until eventually it reaches the right people.

It really hurt me how many friends, acquaintances and family of mine didn’t reshare Aunty Cera’s links whenever I posted them, which was almost everyday.  It takes less than five seconds and you never know who will see it and continue to reshare it. However, this does not compare to the amount of gratitude I felt for everyone who did. Strangers in different countries who I’d never met, recent friends or acquaintances, or lifelong family, all of your efforts are still appreciated beyond words to this day.

Although, while on the subject I will talk about a recent event that’s been upsetting to witness -the amount of people who have been able to inconvenience themselves to pour a bucket of ice water over their heads to spread awareness, but could not reshare a link when I sent it to them last year is disheartening.  Of course, the ice bucket challenge is more widespread and mainstream, more people are aware of it so when they see you do it, they think you’re a good person making a difference.  It’s not that you aren’t a good person, but you aren’t making a difference.  You’re gaining attention and that’s it.  An individual’s GoFundMe link might not get you the same attention, but at least you can be assured that you are making an actual difference in someone’s life and the appreciation their family now has for you will never go away and is insurmountable compared to the appreciation of those who benefit from you doing things like the Ice Bucket Challenge.  I’m just using this as an example because it’s resurfaced to mainstream media recently, however, this also applies to Pink Ribbon donations and those alike.

Despite the depressing and critical undertone of this article, it’s intended to make the world a better place for those suffering.  I am only one drop in the ocean just like you, but just like you, my ripples will expand as they reach more people so I’m doing my part to spread as much awareness as I can and I’ll never stop.  If you truly want to be an activist and make a difference in someone’s life who is suffering stop donating to these big organizations and charities that are only profiting off of your sympathy and not truly helping those in need.  Your money does not make it to patients like Aunty Cera and if it does, it’s in the form of an “I’m sorry, here’s a notebook”.

If you want to make a true difference, find individual patients websites, GoFundMe’s, etc.  and donate to them directly.  This way you can ensure your money is going towards someone who needs it and they will actually see that money and be able to put it towards getting better. Cancer treatments and medical treatments alike are extremely expensive especially for patients who can no longer work due to the condition of their health and there is not sufficient funding provided to them by our healthcare systems or these borderline useless organizations.  These patients can get better and they can live a fulfilling life, but they need our help to do so.  If you come across somebody regardless of if they’re a stranger or you know them, reshare their donation links, tell their story, donate if you can, yes you are so small in this big world, but your actions are significant and can make a difference, especially of enough people start to share this mindset. Attend local charity events if you can, or host your own events to raise money.

If we had been able to create a better momentum Aunty Cera would still be here today.  We all believe it and know it without a doubt.  The reason she passed was because the cancer had spread to her lungs, the night before she was supposed to leave for Mexico and she was in no condition to fly.  Though we are grateful for all of the donations and support, if we had been able to get more people to reshare her links and story, we could have raised the funds sooner and beat the cancer before it made it to her lungs.  This loss is something I will never get over, I’ll never be the same person I was before it and I cannot change it now, but I can do everything in my power to ensure it is happening to less and less people.

I do not have a huge audience, nor do I have a huge income, but if I ever come across someone who is suffering, or if you know someone please tell me their story, send me all of their information so I can donate if I can or at least continue to share their story and links so more people see it.  Cancer is a cruel disease, but we can help people fight it when we come together.  It only takes a couple of minutes and does not do anyone any harm to reshare someone’s story and donation links.  This is the most effective way to help patients seek the treatments they need.

 

If you’ve read this far, thank you.  I once again would like to express my gratitude to the doctors, nurses, friends, family, acquaintances, strangers and universes for everything you did to help my Aunt Cera while she was here, to let her exceed doctors expectations and live a couple more precious years, to let her enjoy life to the best of her ability and continue to strive for her dreams and for all you continue to do now.  You will never be forgotten as your efforts contributed to the most important fight of my Aunt’s, and in turn my family’s life.  Thank you and may you all be happy and healthy.