How The Music We Love Shapes Who We Become

By Kayla Harper

As someone who is heavily involved in the music community from working at a record store, going to concerts, to actively engaging in an online space, I participate in a lot of great conversations about music with people from all sorts of backgrounds.  Some have really similar interests to mine, some like entirely different artists that don’t appeal to me, nevertheless our conversations are just as enjoyable.  One thing I’m often told in these conversations is how diverse and expansive my taste in music is, while a lot of that diversity is owed to these conversations I’ve been talking about, especially the ones in the record store, a lot of it is also owed to my parents.

Between both of my parents I was raised on various genres ranging from classic rock, hard rock, metal, hip-hop/rap, pop, singer/songwriter, country, punk-rock, alternative rock, etc. and a sea of different artists in each of those categories. Of course different sounds struck me differently at certain stages of my life, but now it’s evened out into a broad field of choices; I am certain I have something in my collection that can appease anyone.

In honour of my mom’s birthday taking place on May 27 and it also being the month of Mother’s Day I had an insightful conversation with her about the music she loves, what she raised me on and our musical experiences together because I believe these really shaped who I’ve become in regards to my musical endeavours.

My mom’s introduced me to a lot of amazing music ranging from Jewel to Sevendust, which is obviously an expansive selection of songs.  In turn I’ve shared a lot of my own musical discoveries with her some of which she’s taken to more than others, among her favourites “Gracie Abrams and Dora Jar” is there any particular reason? “[they’re] two younger new artists that I otherwise wouldn’t have heard of unless they became widely known.”  My mom probably first heard Gracie Abrams during the 2020 pandemic.  However, it wasn’t until 2022, when I was playing Abrams’s latest single (at the time) “Block Me Out” in the car that her interest really piqued.  From there she explored the entire discography, “[Abrams and Jar] do have their own style and uniqueness they put into their music which I really enjoy.”

Abrams and Jar are quite different from what mom listened to growing up, she recounts the music that was most prominent during her childhood, “my mom played Matchbox Twenty all the time.  Anytime I hear Matchbox Twenty it takes me back to junior high and the early years of high school.  She played [Yourself Or Someone Like You] so much I forbade her from playing it when I was home.”

Alongside Matchbox Twenty, country music was a staple at home while my mom was growing up, “I vaguely remember my first concert experience” she remembers, “my parents…took me to Randy Travis.  I did enjoy listening to him.  I am someone who picks up on lyrics quite quickly so, even at the age of four I knew all the lyrics”  the security guard standing nearby was quite impressed with her ability to sing every word, “the security guard took me up to the front of the stage for the rest of the show.”

Many years later, my mom took me to my first concert, Taylor Swift’s Reputation Tour in Toronto when I was thirteen years old.  “It was cool to see new sites and have [new] experiences with you” among those sites the most notable were Niagara Falls and Ripley’s Aquarium (which is still one of my favourite places to visit whenever I’m in Toronto). “The excitement you get when you really love an artist and you get to see them in person performing those songs that you enjoy so much, that energy touches you on a soul level and it was really exciting to see [me] experience that.”  Unfortunately because it was so long ago, my memories of the night are vivid, but blurry, so, it’s difficult to remember which performance struck me the most in the moment. Looking back now, “New Years Day x Long Live” was very special and I remember “I Did Something Bad” being really cool because Swift switched up the sound a bit and there was all this complex choreography and pyrotechnics.

“I don’t know if I have a favourite part of the performance, but I think the theatrics that is included in Swift’s shows, such as the build to the opening and start of the concert, and experiencing that with you and knowing what that was like for you experiencing your first concert of one of your favourite artists would make that one of my favourites” I still have a video I took of my reaction to the intro, which is arguably the best intro to any tour Swift has ever done, there was a lot of tears. “At the Reputation tour she brought out the huge snake prop and that floating ball thing she was in and came closer to the side we were seated…it was cool for myself, but especially cool for you.”  The aerial lift Swift used during “Delicate” brought her right up close to our section during the song, which happened to be the inspiration behind the outfit I was wearing for the show, which my mom made for me. My mom recalls how ridiculous it seemed at the time to dress up for a concert, “now I get it”.  The Eras Tour really emphasized that aspect of Swift shows, however, it’s been a longtime Swiftie tradition.

If Taylor Swift was my childhood hero and favourite music artist, my mom’s was Jewel; another strong female role model who fights for what she believes and takes pride in the creation of her art.  “[Jewel] was a new artist and had just come out with her debut album, Pieces Of You.  I think I remember hearing it on the radio for the first time and she started to hit the countdown charts we’d watch on TV and they’d play the top artists of the week. I’d seen an interview as well, it [showed] a little bit of her background story and what led to her being discovered as a music artist and everything she endured up to that point. Listening to her album and lyrics you could really tell it was her outlet and how she’d get by and made it to that point, it really inspired me. She has an incredible vocal range and I appreciate the deep lyrics.”

Last year, in July of 2024, I took my mom to see Jewel live for the first time, “it was an incredible experience, parts of it felt surreal that I was in my forties and finally getting to see Jewel perform live. I was thankful it was in a more intimate venue because we could get up close to the stage. Seeing her play the guitar and sing live, her vocals are incredible live or recording. Definitely a forever memory”

I agree it was quite phenomenal, I wouldn’t have known she had laryngitis if she hadn’t told us.

“Going into the concert knowing she was sick, there was a part of me that didn’t want to feel disappointed, but she did not miss a beat.”

As previously mentioned, I truly feel I could connect on a musical level with anyone to some extent because I’ve grown to have such a vast collection, but the person who I feel I share the most in common with musically is my mom.  We’re able to enjoy many different artists and genres together from metal to pop to indie, etc.  We’ve also grown to love going to shows together and over the past few years we’ve gone to a lot, including Sevendust, Shinedown, Jewel, Twenty One Pilots etc.

It’s difficult to choose a favourite, “this last year was a good year for shows. My top three of all the shows I’ve been to in the last year is: Sevendust because they’re one of my favorite [bands] and seeing them live I didn’t want the show to end, I just wanted them to start again.”  I remember leaving the venue feeling beyond satisfied with Sevendust’s performance, from the sound to the setlist everything was exceptional.

“Jewel.  As a lifelong dream to see her play live, it was an incredible show.  I could have had her start over again too. A highlight for my third would be [Twenty One Pilots] the Clancy World Tour.  It’s tough to pick a favourite, but I would honestly have to say as much as I love the other two, the Clancy Tour was electrifying. The energy, the presentation of each song that they performed…especially seeing them previously on the Bandito Tour,  you could just tell how much they put the show together specifically for their fans.  As just two people in a band it was incredible, the show they put on.  It’s tough to describe it to somebody just how incredible it was from the imagery to the pyrotechnics, lights, stage setup, moving throughout the arena and interacting with the crowds, it’s hard to describe it to somebody, you just have to be there for yourself.”

Aside from going to concerts, we also enjoy collecting records and for now have curated a joint collection, but the day that I eventually move out is approaching and dividing up our collection is going to be a difficult task.  There’s many records of my mom’s that I’ll miss, and many of mine that she’ll miss, “definitely the Sevendust boxset and their newest album, the Taylor Swift Anthology vinyl, Melanie Martinez’s Portals album, all the Gracie’s [Gracie Abrams]…yeah I’m sure there’s more I’m forgetting, but that’s off the top of my head.”

There’s some tough ones to find in there, “I mean Stone Sour [too], but that’s a next level hard to find…oh and the Slipknot records.”  Honestly, I think the Stone Sour will be just as hard as the Sevendust boxset to find, I’m still shocked I found my copy of Come What(ever) May so early on in my collecting journey.  From my mom’s collection I’ll miss Chappell Roan’s The Rise and Fall Of A Midwest Princess, that one’s grown on me a lot since she bought it. Pink Floyd’s Division Bell is another one I’ll have to seek out for myself.  I see this as an exciting opportunity to spend more time together, record shopping and hunting down the missing pieces in our collections.  “Oh yeah! Add Twenty One Pilots to the list, all the Twenty One Pilots albums”  seems like we’ve got a lot of record hunting to do together!

I’d like to thank my mom for all the wonderful memories we’ve created surrounding music, all the wonderful music she’s introduced me to and for taking the time out of her busy day to do this interview with me!